12/04/09

Today is my first official blog post. It is also almost one year since being placed on the active lung transplant list. This has been a year of realization for many. My self and my wife Stephanie have been on a roller coaster of emotion.

The realization that I am sick has taken more than 2 years to sink in. Simple things now become a big, big deal. Simple things like taking a shower, brushing my teeth, shaving and sometimes even using the bathroom. It has been such a drastic change we are not yet used to it. Not only that but I tend to alienate my family and friends. It's a self imposed isolation in a way. I feel better when I am at home and comfortable. Venturing out is a big hassle with dragging my oxygen around, getting short of breath, and getting worn out, it gets very hard.

It is not only hard physically but mentally. Not to mention the stress of not being able to do the things you loved. Things like working, family outings, and hanging out with friends. There isn't any way to express to people you love so they can really understand what you are feeling or thinking. This lack of understanding can cause relationships to suffer. ALL RELATIONSHIPS!!

What is the solution to this? There isn't a solution. You can only do so much before you have to trust other people to understand what you are going through isn't a choice. The other solution is trying to eliminate all unnecessary stress and making daily activities somewhat easier. Today will be the first day since I have been on the transplant list that I choose to do that. Stay tuned to find out how.

Aways,
Ken